’89 domande a Tea Hacic-Vlahovic – Writer

Name? Tea Hacic-Vlahovic (@teahacic): Sagittarius sun, Sagittarius moon, Capricorn rising.

What’s your job? Writer and Troia Radicale political party leader.

What did you study? Fashion Design at NABA Milano.

If you had the chance to live an historical event, which one would it be? Iggy Pop on stage at CBGB.

Can you give us a definition of art? Art cannot be defined. But like pornography, I know it when I see it.

Your favorite style icons? Divine, Cherie Currie, Sid Vicious.

If you were a character of a movie which one would you be? The missing underwear in Basic Instinct.

If you could speak in world vision for 15 minutes what would you say? I would speak on behalf of the animals.

Do you think exist an objective aesthetic value or you think aesthetic value is just subjective? Aesthetics are subjective, beauty is not.

If you could have a super power what would you choose? Mind control.

Do you think Hegel was right to put music as art at an higher level, or do you think the figurative arts, especially at an emotional level, are on the same level? Nothing is higher than music. Only scent can attack your heart that hard but nobody sits around sniffing perfumes all day.

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Do you have any political orientation? Troie Radicali is my political party. Freedom and fun for everybody, with a focus on women, queers and animal rights. 

Who is in your opinion the best writer in history? David Bowie’s lyrics are better than most books.

The best sentence you wrote? I can’t say here, it’s in my second book, out Fall 2022 ☺

The most appreciated one? Nothing’s embarrassing if you aren’t embarrassed.” People love that one because it makes them feel better.

One by someone else you that you wanted to write? I see the world through rat’s eyes.” – Black Flag. The opening sentence of my first book, Life of the Party.

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How much reality is there from 1 to 10 in your book? 9. The story is all true, I just changed a few things for artistic purposes, left names out for legal purposes, made the pigeons talk for poetic purposes. 

How long did it take you to write it? Four months.

If you have one, can you tell us the method you use to write? Wait for the sun to go down and the whiskey to hit.

What do you like most of Italy? Everyone in Italy is funny, whether they like it or not.

And what you don’t like? Sundays. Everything is closed and everyone is depressed.

What’s the city you like the most here? Venice.

What is the night you spent the most money to have fun? When Life of the Party (L’anima Della Festa in Italian) got released in Italy, I celebrated at the Beverly Hills Hotel. We had dinner with champagne and got a room–paid for with the check the government sent me for Covid relief.

Tea at Beverly Hills Hotel

What’s your favorite artist? My dog Winkle. Every poop she takes is a masterpiece.

What’s your favorite show business character? Mr. Rogers.

If you could live in one historical era, which one would you choose? NYC in the seventies.

If you could spend a day with an historical figure who would you choose? Richard Hell in 1975. A romantic New York day: heroin for breakfast, hit up the studio and meet The Heartbreakers, a stroll in the park with punk pigeons, share a slice of pizza and eventually end up at Max’s, where I’d get into a brawl with Patti Smith.

Who are the people that inspired you the most? If it isn’t clear by now, the original 1970’s NYC punk rockers.

If you can choose a famous person for a night, who would it be? Speranza.

And for a relationship? I’m married!!! But…in an alternate universe…I always had a crush on Travis from Blink182. But now he’s with a Kardashian so that kind of ruins him.

What do you do for fun? Dress up and stress out.

How much do you earn now? With my books, upcoming TV show, merch…I make what an average school teacher makes in America. 

Where have you been on vacation when you were young? Every summer I’d go to Croatia to be with my cousins and grandparents. 

Where are you going on vacation now? My husband makes me go to Sardegna every year. It’s hard for me to relax. I don’t really see the point. My life is a holiday damnit!

What’s the topic you are most expert in? Parties.

Have you ever been in love? A few times.

Are you now? More than ever!

Tea and her husband @sz_haus

Have you ever had a homosexual experience? Duh.

Where do you live? Los Angeles.

Which neighbourhood? Venice Beach.

Where are you from? Sisak, Croatia.

Other cities where you’ve been living and how long? Milan eight years, NYC three years, LA three and counting! I grew up in Chapel Hill, North Carolina…not really a “city” though.

Which languages do you speak? Croatian, English, Italian, Troia Radicale.

Which are your favorite places in your city? Chateau Marmont.

Tea at Chateau Marmont

Favorite movies? Ghost World, Noi Albinoi, All Dogs Go To Heaven.

Favorite songs? Rock n Roll Suicide by David Bowie.

Favorite bands? The Bouncing Souls, Television, Blink 182.

Favorite books? Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block.

Favorite authors? Bukowski, Vonnegut, Salinger.

Favorite artworks? That sculpture of Cicciolina banging Jeff Koons (read here ’89 domande a Cicciolina – Porno Star).

If you can choose 5 celebrities to have party with who they would be? Debbie Harry, Paris Hilton, Pete Doherty, Lindsay Lohan, Iggy Pop.

Pete during his ’89 domande interview

The craziest experience you’ve ever had? Being born without my consent. 

What’s your favorite historical character? The Rat in Ratatouille.

Can you define yourself with an adjective? Fun.

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What’s the best writer right now in your opinion? Me ☺

The most overrated? Shakespeare.

The most underestimated? Rachel Rabbit White, she’s a genius poet. Idk if she’s “underestimated” because people already love her but I think her books should be read in schools.

“Limonov non è un’invenzione letteraria ma, come dimostra Zona Industriale, un uomo in carne e ossa che ha vissuto una vita avventurosa che è già leggenda. Da leggere assolutamente.”
Vittorio Sgarbi
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One you don’t like? I don’t like any writers. We’re terrible people.

Favorite TV series? Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 was brilliant and only ran for one season…Strangers with Candy, Absolutely Fabulous.

If you were an animal which one would you like to be? I would like to be a harp seal but I’m afraid of the ocean and don’t want to kill fish…so I’d probably be a rat.

What do you think about influencers? Being an “influencer” is one of the few ways women have been able to class-hop on their own terms (aside marriage or sex work) so I support that. I like seeing women make bank. But I don’t like the fact that random people have more sway than magazines, publishing houses, tv studios…things have become really warped. Then again, magazines, publishing houses and tv studios rarely ever gave d*mb b*tches a chance, so…ugh it’s a hard topic for me to discuss here. I support people doing what they need to do but sometimes I am afraid of where “culture” is headed.

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Can you tell us an influencer you like and one you don’t like? I prefer not to ☺ 

Have you ever had sex with more than one person? Yeah it’s the eco-friendly way to do it.

The thing you like the most in sex? When it’s over.

Have you ever cheated on your fiancée? I cheated on all my ex-boyfriends.

Have you ever cheated on a friend? I’ve been known to talk shit. 

Do you know someone being a real racist? In Italy I’ve met many “football hooligans” so. Yes. 

What’s the best and worst choice you took in your life? The best thing I ever did was move to Milan. There I met all my favorite people and my husband. The worst thing I ever did was over-pluck my eyebrows in high school.

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Do you believe in everlasting love? I live for it!

Last book you read? Cenerentola by Fumetti Brutti and Joe1.

Do you think that if people couldn’t post on Instagram about it, they would take part as well to social movements? Yes and I think they’d be more productive and less annoying about it.

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What time do you usually go to sleep? Too late.

What time do you usually wake up? Too early.

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What’s your favorite city in the world? Tokyo. 

If you could compose the best band in history who would be in? David Bowie, Lady Gaga, Danzig.

Do you believe in some religions? No.

Do you have many friends? Yes.

What’s the first thing you would do if you win the lottery? Scream.

The richest person you know? A friend of mine is obscenely rich but I won’t name her lol.

How important is it for you to be rich from 1 to 10? 3 (need shoes).

And fame? 6 (need attention).

What do you think about the existence of royal rulers for birthright? Royal bullshit.

What do you think about marriage? It’s romantic if you want it. 

And monogamy? It works if you believe it.

Your favorite dish? Burek.

Do you have some phobias? I’m afraid of walking to the bathroom alone in the dark because my friends made me watch horror movies as a kid.

What car do you own? White Mercedes.

Favorite fashion brand? Miu Miu.

How many men do you had in your life? Not sure, I stopped counting after one hundred.

The smartest person you know? My mom.

Do you consider yourself smart? Yes.

The most precious material thing you own? My laptop.

What do you usually drink at the bar? Dirty Vodka Martini.

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An advice you can give to someone that want to do your job? Time is on your side.

Best party you’ve been to? Any random Sunday at the original Plastic in Milan.

What drugs have you done? Nearly all aside hallucinogens. Those scare me.

If so which one is your favorite? My mom reads these interviews…are y’all trying to get me grounded?

And which one you use more often? Alcohol ;).

What’s your best talent? Conflict resolution.

Can you tell us a book that you would have liked to write? Breakfast Of Champions.

What are the clothes you can’t stand to see on a man and on a woman? Sandals on a man, real fur on a woman.

What’s the item of clothing you spent the most money on? YSL heels.

Your ideal holiday? A few months in Shibuya, Tokyo, working on a manga.

When, in your opinion, can you define a person as an artist? After they die.

The most strange place you had sex? Under a bridge.

Do you think that a person that doesn’t stand out in the art market is just because he is not worthy? Generally those who do not “stand out” in any market are those making more interesting work.

Do you think that the relationship between art and drugs is just a cliché? Clichés are cliché for a reason.

Do you think that only the art market define what can be considered art and what cannot? Usually it’s the opposite.

What do you think about Banksy’s experiment to sell his works on the streets for cheap? Do you think that the value of a work, in the eye of an observer, is given from the context in which it was seen? I don’t think we should talk about Banksy when we talk about art.

Do you think it would be correct to create a place where man can live in the state of nature, making him free from a choice of social belonging that is instead taken for granted? At this point, withdrawing from society is cowardly. We owe it to each other to try and make something of this mess. 

If you could choose a person you know to read this interview, who would it be? Iggy Pop! My second book is for him…